It shouldn't really come as a shocker that I'm a Black woman. (*gasp!) Yes, I know I said Black and not African-American. That's because, I don't really know where my ancestors came from and there's nothing wrong with saying 'Black'.
I learned a long time ago who I am and where I came from. For as long I can remember, My Grandma Terry told me that I was different but that I was just like everyone else. Different in the sense that I had two wonderful cultures that make me...me. And the same as everyone else because at the time, even though there weren't very many others (and I mean, HARDLY any others) that were mixed like me didn't mean that I wasn't capable of doing amazing things.
I love my Grandma so much. She was one of the few people who really accepted me and thought I was beautiful. And I wasn't beautiful just because I was her Grand-daughter, but because of my heritage too. My Grandma is one of those rare people who is so incredibly accepting of everyone. And I mean, EVERYONE. I have so many aunts, uncles, cousins, and grand-parents because once she lets you in, you're family. I'm the only kid I know that has 11 grandparents. Anyways, I'm getting carried away.
Grandma Terry began teaching me at a very young age about Black Heritage. And she didn't do it by showing me rap videos or things that many of us now associate with Black culture. She told me all about the wonderful things that Black people had accomplished over the past two-hundred years. From Harriet Tubman and Fredrick Douglas to Madame CJ Walker and Thurgood Marshall. She taught me that Martin Luther King, Jr. was not just a man with a dream, but a man who had hope and worked to make that dream a reality.
All growing up, I felt like I had to prove myself in order to be recognized as a black person. I had wear my hair a certain way, wear certain clothes and talk a certain way. I look back and feel ashamed at who I thought a black person needed to be.
Some years ago, my Aunt Angie passed away and though I didn't know her for very long, I cherish the examples she set. She exemplified a brilliant and beautiful black woman. A woman who holds integrity and knows her divine nature. My Aunt Angie rejoiced in being a daughter of God. My memory of her shines bright as woman who loved who she was, where she came from, and what she accomplished as a wife and mother.
My hope for the upcoming generations, and even many of the people of mine, is that they KNOW who they are, regardless of ethnicity. That they appreciate the sacrifices made for them and the hardships that their ancestors endured. But most of all, that they don't take for granted the foundation that was built for them. That they take advantage of all that has been provided for them and do something great. Do something that lets those that came before us would be proud of. Because all that they did, they didn't do it for themselves. They did it for us.
I'm so grateful for the women in my life that nurtured and guided me. And taught me these incredibly valuable lessons even when I was too hard-headed to listen.
I am a Black woman and I could never be ashamed of that.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
Beauty Isn't A Gift, It's A Complex
No And She Whispered posters were actually harmed during the filming of this blog.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Genre Smonrah
Written on March 20, 2010 @ Murray Theatre during Copelands' Farewell Tour.
The best thing about music is that it transends everything. Race, language barriers, religion, even our own personal affiliations. Genres aside, music can reach our very core and bring out the most raw and incredible emotions. Often times they are emotions we've never experienced. You can be driving down the road listening to the radio when all of the sudden a song comes on and touches us. Our lives don't exactly mirror the lyrics of the song, but even without experiencing those things...it effects us. Then again, it's amazing to me the different songs that have defined stepping stones through out my life. They've documented the person I've become, a continual progression.
Even as I write this, I'm standing at a concert listening to a band that I've never heard of before but will forever be ingrained into my memory. It's hard to resist the influx of emotion that's emitted from their instruments, their melody, their lyrics. Chandale shares the quote "music is what feelings sound like" (author unknown to me). I begin to understand the artist and, in turn, something deeper about myself. I get the feeling that I got the better end of the deal with my $20 admission price. Going to shows, it's therapy, that's what it is for me. Doesn't matter the artist, the genre, even the crowd...here I feel healed from the world. Even in the midst of an insane mosh pit, I can't help but feel the frustrations seep from me and onto the floor. The artist and I make a connection, they put my thoughts on paper in a way that I never could. Plus I get the benefit of being able to see their face and what the music means to them. I love that moment when you watch an artist and their eyes just close. There could be a number of different reasons why, but I like to think it's because that riff, that line, that beat, whatever it is in the song...it means something. They love their music. It's not just for a paycheck, it's because they honestly love and care about what they do. They love music just as much as I do. Again...we're connected.
Written on March 22, 2010
Many years ago, I was at a church function where we had kind of like an Open Mic night. A girl named Jessie Crystal sang the song "California" by Copeland and thus began my obsession with them. From that moment on that song has been my comfort. In 2005 I had the opportunity to see them for the first time and I was BEYOND excited, dragging one of my best friends, Jace, with me just to have a chance to hear that ONE song live. (Their other songs are just as incredible btw.) But they never played it. I left the show entertained but not fulfilled. It took 5 years to get the opportunity to see them again, as they finally made their way to Salt Lake City. On Saturday night, my dream came true. They played "California" and it was by far one of the best concert experiences I've ever had. And just to properly document the occasion, I recorded it. It's not the best quality, but it's proof and a reminder that I was there. I would have been satisfied leaving the venue after that one song, BUT to add the cherry to the cake, I met the lead singer, got his autograph and a picture with him. And of course I couldn't properly say goodbye without thanking him for the brilliant music that I've enjoyed over the years. But this just exemplifies how important music is to me. It defines me, regardless of the genre. Just as I don't label people for what they are, I don't label music by what it is. Music is music, and if you hear something you like then why does it matter if it's outside of your "usual" taste?
Anywho...I've ranted enough. Now it's time to make some recommendations. I want you to check out these four amazing bands....Deas Vail, Person L, I Can Make A Mess Like Nobody's Business (especially for The Early November fans), and of course Copeland.
The best thing about music is that it transends everything. Race, language barriers, religion, even our own personal affiliations. Genres aside, music can reach our very core and bring out the most raw and incredible emotions. Often times they are emotions we've never experienced. You can be driving down the road listening to the radio when all of the sudden a song comes on and touches us. Our lives don't exactly mirror the lyrics of the song, but even without experiencing those things...it effects us. Then again, it's amazing to me the different songs that have defined stepping stones through out my life. They've documented the person I've become, a continual progression.
Even as I write this, I'm standing at a concert listening to a band that I've never heard of before but will forever be ingrained into my memory. It's hard to resist the influx of emotion that's emitted from their instruments, their melody, their lyrics. Chandale shares the quote "music is what feelings sound like" (author unknown to me). I begin to understand the artist and, in turn, something deeper about myself. I get the feeling that I got the better end of the deal with my $20 admission price. Going to shows, it's therapy, that's what it is for me. Doesn't matter the artist, the genre, even the crowd...here I feel healed from the world. Even in the midst of an insane mosh pit, I can't help but feel the frustrations seep from me and onto the floor. The artist and I make a connection, they put my thoughts on paper in a way that I never could. Plus I get the benefit of being able to see their face and what the music means to them. I love that moment when you watch an artist and their eyes just close. There could be a number of different reasons why, but I like to think it's because that riff, that line, that beat, whatever it is in the song...it means something. They love their music. It's not just for a paycheck, it's because they honestly love and care about what they do. They love music just as much as I do. Again...we're connected.
Written on March 22, 2010
Many years ago, I was at a church function where we had kind of like an Open Mic night. A girl named Jessie Crystal sang the song "California" by Copeland and thus began my obsession with them. From that moment on that song has been my comfort. In 2005 I had the opportunity to see them for the first time and I was BEYOND excited, dragging one of my best friends, Jace, with me just to have a chance to hear that ONE song live. (Their other songs are just as incredible btw.) But they never played it. I left the show entertained but not fulfilled. It took 5 years to get the opportunity to see them again, as they finally made their way to Salt Lake City. On Saturday night, my dream came true. They played "California" and it was by far one of the best concert experiences I've ever had. And just to properly document the occasion, I recorded it. It's not the best quality, but it's proof and a reminder that I was there. I would have been satisfied leaving the venue after that one song, BUT to add the cherry to the cake, I met the lead singer, got his autograph and a picture with him. And of course I couldn't properly say goodbye without thanking him for the brilliant music that I've enjoyed over the years. But this just exemplifies how important music is to me. It defines me, regardless of the genre. Just as I don't label people for what they are, I don't label music by what it is. Music is music, and if you hear something you like then why does it matter if it's outside of your "usual" taste?
Anywho...I've ranted enough. Now it's time to make some recommendations. I want you to check out these four amazing bands....Deas Vail, Person L, I Can Make A Mess Like Nobody's Business (especially for The Early November fans), and of course Copeland.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Sometimes Life Is Just "Blah"...
These past couple weeks have been really rough. For no real reason in particular just haven't been feeling myself. Little things set me off and all of the sudden I hate the world and nearly everyone in it. It's days like that when I really miss home, especially my momma and Delli. I was ranting to Dell last night and she asked "Is that really what you're upset about? Is there more?", when Taylor asks that question I yell and get even more upset at him, when she asks...I bawl. It's not that T doesn't want to help, I think it's more that he thinks I'm trying to find a reason to mad or an excuse to be offended. Dell understands that sometimes things just rub you the wrong way and it effects you more than it normally would.
One of the things that have been bothering me is that Taylor and I really want to start a family. For a long while I wasn't ready to think about that. At the time, it wasn't an option. We were newly married and still adjusting to that lifestyle (heck, we still are). But I'm a firm believer that couples should try and wait at least a year before having kids. I wasn't ready to learn how to be a mom without first learning how to be a wife. Well, I'm just now beginning to feel like I'm ready to be a mom. Mostly that's my age talking, being 25 going on 26 in a few short months doesn't do well for my sanity when it comes to motherhood. First off, let me say that Taylor and I haven't entirely TRIED having a baby yet either. However, when talking to Dell last night, I admitted to her that I've been getting the feeling that I won't be able to get pregnant. I came to grips with that (at least I thought) years ago when I was diagnosed with Polysistic Ovarian Syndrome. Needless to say, this was just one of a few reasons for my breakdown last night. (*Note...I know in my heart that Taylor and I will have kids. I don't doubt that that's what the Lord has in store for us. It's just a matter of how that I've been having issues with.)
I also keep getting the feeling that all the things that I've ever wanted to do in my life, I'll never be able to do. T and I never got a honeymoon, we probably never will (at least not anytime in the next few decades). I will probably never get to do a study at Mt. Vesuvius or even get my PH.D. I'll never be a rock star (much to my dismay) and I'll never sing on Broadway. Before you say anything, yes I know I'm throwing a "woe is me" fit. This is a pity party for lil ol' me and I dragged you along. But please try to understand, that these are things that I spent my whole life believing will happen, so it's hard at the moment to realize that they won't.
On the upside, Delli will be here in a little less than two weeks time and I get to see my mommy in three weeks. And then there will be much rejoicing in my world.
Also, I know that these are things that I have to deal with myself. I have to come up with new game plans and focus on what will be best for my family. Life isn't always fair and it doesn't always turn out the way you expected. I, in my naivety, just assumed that I would be able to do all those great things despite my circumstances.
On a side note, The Lightening Thief (film adaptation) was WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY different than the book. Still entertaining though.
One of the things that have been bothering me is that Taylor and I really want to start a family. For a long while I wasn't ready to think about that. At the time, it wasn't an option. We were newly married and still adjusting to that lifestyle (heck, we still are). But I'm a firm believer that couples should try and wait at least a year before having kids. I wasn't ready to learn how to be a mom without first learning how to be a wife. Well, I'm just now beginning to feel like I'm ready to be a mom. Mostly that's my age talking, being 25 going on 26 in a few short months doesn't do well for my sanity when it comes to motherhood. First off, let me say that Taylor and I haven't entirely TRIED having a baby yet either. However, when talking to Dell last night, I admitted to her that I've been getting the feeling that I won't be able to get pregnant. I came to grips with that (at least I thought) years ago when I was diagnosed with Polysistic Ovarian Syndrome. Needless to say, this was just one of a few reasons for my breakdown last night. (*Note...I know in my heart that Taylor and I will have kids. I don't doubt that that's what the Lord has in store for us. It's just a matter of how that I've been having issues with.)
I also keep getting the feeling that all the things that I've ever wanted to do in my life, I'll never be able to do. T and I never got a honeymoon, we probably never will (at least not anytime in the next few decades). I will probably never get to do a study at Mt. Vesuvius or even get my PH.D. I'll never be a rock star (much to my dismay) and I'll never sing on Broadway. Before you say anything, yes I know I'm throwing a "woe is me" fit. This is a pity party for lil ol' me and I dragged you along. But please try to understand, that these are things that I spent my whole life believing will happen, so it's hard at the moment to realize that they won't.
On the upside, Delli will be here in a little less than two weeks time and I get to see my mommy in three weeks. And then there will be much rejoicing in my world.
Also, I know that these are things that I have to deal with myself. I have to come up with new game plans and focus on what will be best for my family. Life isn't always fair and it doesn't always turn out the way you expected. I, in my naivety, just assumed that I would be able to do all those great things despite my circumstances.
On a side note, The Lightening Thief (film adaptation) was WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY different than the book. Still entertaining though.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
So Much To Be Excited For
Tuesdays are awesome. For many reasons of course, but the most important being....IT'S LOST NIGHT!!! Oh how I truly love that show, never a dull moment. Last week totally boggled my mind with Flocke (Fake Locke aka Smoke Monster) seeing the kid, the whole thing with the cave (and the numbers), and what seems to be some type of role reversal with Locke and Flocke. Craziness!!! As excited as I am to hopefully start getting some answers, I kinda don't want to see the show go. Good TV is so hard to come by these days.
So you're not a Lost fan and you need more reasons to get excited? Well, let me acquiesce your request.
"Punk Goes" is a record of sorts that does punk covers of popular songs of different genres. Let's see, there's 'Punk Goes Pop' (two volumes), 'Punk Goes Crunk' (not so good), 'Punk Goes 80's', 'Punk Goes 90's', etc. Anywho, they're releasing a 'Punk Goes Classic Rock', and I am very intrigued to see how these covers will sound. They have a pretty good lineup of bands but the songs they're covering are so well known and loved that it's gonna be hard to even compete. If you wanna see the tracklist, follow this link ------> http://altpress.com/news/8537.htm.
And now the grand finale of mind blowing news....
I have mentioned before that I'm a huge fan of 30 Seconds to Mars. I'm also a big fan of twitter, seeing as how I use it as my news source for music and such. So I was checking twitter, per my morning ritual, and came across the best news headline EVER! 30STM is touring and coming to Salt Lake the day after my birthday (Taylor wink wink nudge nudge eh, gov'na?)!!! Oh and that's not all, they're also touring with MUTEMATH!!! Talk about a double whammy of awesomeness! MUTEMATH is kinda like Coldplay and Muse fused together. Seriously some of the best music around. And to have them tour with 30STM is a dream come true for me. EEK! Can't wait. And just in case you're not a SLC local, here's a link to their dates. -----> http://altpress.com/news/8539.htm
So you're not a Lost fan and you need more reasons to get excited? Well, let me acquiesce your request.
"Punk Goes" is a record of sorts that does punk covers of popular songs of different genres. Let's see, there's 'Punk Goes Pop' (two volumes), 'Punk Goes Crunk' (not so good), 'Punk Goes 80's', 'Punk Goes 90's', etc. Anywho, they're releasing a 'Punk Goes Classic Rock', and I am very intrigued to see how these covers will sound. They have a pretty good lineup of bands but the songs they're covering are so well known and loved that it's gonna be hard to even compete. If you wanna see the tracklist, follow this link ------> http://altpress.com/news/8537.htm.
And now the grand finale of mind blowing news....
I have mentioned before that I'm a huge fan of 30 Seconds to Mars. I'm also a big fan of twitter, seeing as how I use it as my news source for music and such. So I was checking twitter, per my morning ritual, and came across the best news headline EVER! 30STM is touring and coming to Salt Lake the day after my birthday (Taylor wink wink nudge nudge eh, gov'na?)!!! Oh and that's not all, they're also touring with MUTEMATH!!! Talk about a double whammy of awesomeness! MUTEMATH is kinda like Coldplay and Muse fused together. Seriously some of the best music around. And to have them tour with 30STM is a dream come true for me. EEK! Can't wait. And just in case you're not a SLC local, here's a link to their dates. -----> http://altpress.com/news/8539.htm
Monday, February 22, 2010
The Lightening Theif Update
It's hard for me not to compare things (especially book series) to Harry Potter. I'll admit that I'm a "Pot-Head" in that respect. So when I first started Percy Jackson, I'll admit that I was skeptical because so much of it just screamed "imitation". And while there were somethings that were vaguely similar to Harrys' story, there were many other aspects of it that were very original.
I won't ruin it for those that haven't read the book and plan on doing so. I will say however, that I love Percy's moxy. Is it okay for a boy to have moxy? Eh, anywho, whatever it is Percy has, I love it. He's such a fun character and I love how he's kinda dysfunctional.
I'm not much of a book critic (unless the subject is Harry Potter) so I'll just leave my recommendation to read Percy Jackson and the Olympians. I for one am anxious to move onto book 2, but I have another book to read until I can start that. Which leads me into the next portion of this post....
Sabriel. I started this book last spring and I still have yet to finish it. I've been putting it off and putting it off saying that it's easier to read stuff on my phone than it is in an actual book. Well if Percy Jackson taught me anything, it's that I MISS reading actual books. I'm making it one of my goals to read one book a month, be it fictional or church related. Which, thinking about it I should make that two books, one fictional AND one church related. But....baby steps Rikki. So, Sabriel it is for now. The concept for this book is so intriguing I don't know how I was able to put it down.
OH! And for those of you who like crafty stuff, look what I made!
Ain't it cute? My friend Gabi just had a baby boy this morning and this is my contribution to his 'welcome to earth'.
So...yeah. I don't know what else to say except for "Remember who you are and what you stand for". ^_^
I won't ruin it for those that haven't read the book and plan on doing so. I will say however, that I love Percy's moxy. Is it okay for a boy to have moxy? Eh, anywho, whatever it is Percy has, I love it. He's such a fun character and I love how he's kinda dysfunctional.
I'm not much of a book critic (unless the subject is Harry Potter) so I'll just leave my recommendation to read Percy Jackson and the Olympians. I for one am anxious to move onto book 2, but I have another book to read until I can start that. Which leads me into the next portion of this post....
Sabriel. I started this book last spring and I still have yet to finish it. I've been putting it off and putting it off saying that it's easier to read stuff on my phone than it is in an actual book. Well if Percy Jackson taught me anything, it's that I MISS reading actual books. I'm making it one of my goals to read one book a month, be it fictional or church related. Which, thinking about it I should make that two books, one fictional AND one church related. But....baby steps Rikki. So, Sabriel it is for now. The concept for this book is so intriguing I don't know how I was able to put it down.
OH! And for those of you who like crafty stuff, look what I made!
Ain't it cute? My friend Gabi just had a baby boy this morning and this is my contribution to his 'welcome to earth'.
So...yeah. I don't know what else to say except for "Remember who you are and what you stand for". ^_^
Friday, February 19, 2010
The Lightening Theif Update and some other ramblings
Ok, so I took some time out of my Hermione/Draco fanfiction reading (and no it's nothing smutty so get your minds out of the gutter) to read Percy Jackson and the Olympians. Now mind you I've been moving and working for six days a week for the past two weeks and am only on chapter twelve but holy hannah I LOVE THIS BOOK! The adventure that this kid gets to go on is just wicked. Anywho, I just wanted to let ya'll know that I'm having fun with it.
As for the new apartment, it's small but I love it! On Tuesday morning, after our first night sleeping there, I just got this feeling like "this is where we should be". So often with newlywed couples they feel like they have to buy this huge house and fill it with all the "cool" stuff that comes with being established as a family. As our most previous bishop pointed out to us, "we don't have to have the lives our parents have right now." Taylors' parents, when they first got married, had a little apartment that cost them $200 a month, a beat up car, and lived off of mac&cheese and ramen for a really long time. Heck, they only had meat maybe once a week, they didn't indulge in very many luxuries. Now they have a GORGEOUS 5 bedroom home, decorated beautifully and are able to provide for their family without many worries about "how are we going to do this?" For the first year of my marriage I deluded myself into thinking that I deserved the same lifestyle as Taylors parents. Again I admit that I deluded myself. I didn't work as hard as they did for what they have NOR do I have the same obligations or responsibilities as they do at the present time. They needed a house that size for their family. Right now, it's just Taylor and I, one bedroom and 500 square feet is plenty of room for us. Not saying that it's wrong to want these things or you're a bad person if you have them, I'm merely just saying that sometimes for ME it was easy to forget what my priorities were. Not only that, we're commanded to live within our means, to provided only what is NEEDED for our families to sustain a COMFORTABLE and healthy life. I used the word comfortable because it can easily get confused as luxurious or convenient. It's just that I know so many newlywed people buy ridiculously high priced vehicles (that would never be useful for a family) and homes that are larger than deemed necessary for just two people. And it sounds like I'm judging. Sorry. I'm mostly writing this to say "Don't get caught up in the hype of all of this. Live modestly now, so that you can enjoy the true 'luxuries' of life later." I want to do SO much with my family when I have one, but if I run myself into debt now, there's no way that that'll happen. I hope that makes sense.
If there's anyone that I offended with this, I'm truly sorry, it wasn't my intention. If you're able to provide providently for your family and afford it, then by all means, that's awesome. My concern is mostly for others that can't afford it yet still try to obtain that lifestyle (like I did).
So yeah...I think I've said enough. I hope to post a video of our new apartment by the end of next week. I love it so much!
Well, until next time.
As for the new apartment, it's small but I love it! On Tuesday morning, after our first night sleeping there, I just got this feeling like "this is where we should be". So often with newlywed couples they feel like they have to buy this huge house and fill it with all the "cool" stuff that comes with being established as a family. As our most previous bishop pointed out to us, "we don't have to have the lives our parents have right now." Taylors' parents, when they first got married, had a little apartment that cost them $200 a month, a beat up car, and lived off of mac&cheese and ramen for a really long time. Heck, they only had meat maybe once a week, they didn't indulge in very many luxuries. Now they have a GORGEOUS 5 bedroom home, decorated beautifully and are able to provide for their family without many worries about "how are we going to do this?" For the first year of my marriage I deluded myself into thinking that I deserved the same lifestyle as Taylors parents. Again I admit that I deluded myself. I didn't work as hard as they did for what they have NOR do I have the same obligations or responsibilities as they do at the present time. They needed a house that size for their family. Right now, it's just Taylor and I, one bedroom and 500 square feet is plenty of room for us. Not saying that it's wrong to want these things or you're a bad person if you have them, I'm merely just saying that sometimes for ME it was easy to forget what my priorities were. Not only that, we're commanded to live within our means, to provided only what is NEEDED for our families to sustain a COMFORTABLE and healthy life. I used the word comfortable because it can easily get confused as luxurious or convenient. It's just that I know so many newlywed people buy ridiculously high priced vehicles (that would never be useful for a family) and homes that are larger than deemed necessary for just two people. And it sounds like I'm judging. Sorry. I'm mostly writing this to say "Don't get caught up in the hype of all of this. Live modestly now, so that you can enjoy the true 'luxuries' of life later." I want to do SO much with my family when I have one, but if I run myself into debt now, there's no way that that'll happen. I hope that makes sense.
If there's anyone that I offended with this, I'm truly sorry, it wasn't my intention. If you're able to provide providently for your family and afford it, then by all means, that's awesome. My concern is mostly for others that can't afford it yet still try to obtain that lifestyle (like I did).
So yeah...I think I've said enough. I hope to post a video of our new apartment by the end of next week. I love it so much!
Well, until next time.
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