My Journey To Motherhood

I perused Facebook not too long ago and saw many of my friends sharing their struggles in trying to start a family.  It seems not too long ago that I was right there along side you.  It was then that I realized I never shared the long road Taylor and I had to endure to become parents.  

To start, I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome at 16.  It's a very common disorder but basically what it means is that there are cysts in the ovaries which effect the hormones.  For me, it results in the absence of a menstrual cycle.  It genetic in my family and because of this I was told that it would be very unlikely for me to conceive a child.  I was given birth control to balance out my hormones and hopefully regulate my periods. 

Fast forward 10 years just before my 2 year wedding anniversary.  I had already experienced one miscarriage about a year prior, which was kind of a relief as we were in no position to be parents.  Taylor and I had an agreement when we got married that we would wait at least two years after we were married and had insurance.    So this was the year to start considering our options.  It was at that time that a good friend of mine, Gabi, and her grandmother told me about a doctor in Spanish Fork that specialized in bio-identical hormones.  Not knowing at all what that meant, they explained that rather than taking awful and sometimes hazardous hormone pills, he was able to pinpoint what hormones were deficient and prescribe those exact hormones that your body naturally produces.  She told me his story, which in short can be found here.

So after some deliberating with Taylor, we thought, why the heck not.  Best decision we ever made.  Dr. Lundell did some blood work and discovered that my hormone levels were post-menopausal.  Think about that for a second.  A 26 year old woman had hormone levels indicating she had already gone through menopause.  Even if I were to get pregnant, I would never be able to carry to full term because my body doesn't produce the hormones to do so, as indicated by my previous miscarriage.    So he prescribed me some progesterone which is the hormone needed to maintain a pregnancy.  I had to coordinate it with my cycle, off while on my period and on while ovulating.  I learned so much about my body.  After a month (and right on our 2nd anniversary), I was pregnant. 

The joy however, was short lived.  At approximately 8 weeks I got bronchitis and was stressed from a crazy work schedule and terrible boss.  That miscarriage was a huge blow.  Unlike the first one, this pregnancy was planned.  We worked for it.  At that point, I lost all hope.  Paired with losing the job that in my personal opinion, resulted in the miscarriage, I was a mess. 

A few months later my dear friend Cyndi and I were at a women's expo in Sandy, UT.  As we were leaving Cyndi turned to me and pointed out a booth that she thought I should check out.  It was the University of Utah and they were looking for women who had recently had a miscarriage (or multiple) to participate in a study called E.A.G.E.R. (Effects of Aspirin on Gestation and Reproduction).   Basically they were testing the effects of low-dose aspirin during gestation on the reproductive organs.  The belief was that low doses of aspirin would help generate blood flow to the uterus and ovaries to create a more habitable environment to conceive. 

Again, I talked it over with Taylor and we thought "This is it.  Our last shot to do this before resorting to more expensive and extreme measures".  Unsure if we'd even be able to get into the program, we felt inspired to try. 

I spoke with several nurses in the study.  I wanted to fully understand what would take place.  Daily ovulation tests with ClearBlue Easy, daily pill taking (the study medicine & folic acid), and some record keeping.  Simple enough.  We signed up, got in and then we played the waiting game.  Not being on birth control meant no regular periods.  I could only go by my previous cycles and they were so irregular that I wasn't sure.   But after a month of taking the "aspirin" (cause you don't know if you have the aspirin or the placebo), I had a peak ovulation.  I waited and waited for my period, not sure if it would come or not.  Until finally, I was late.  And there were two lines on the pregnancy test.  It worked. 

Of course I was skeptical and didn't want to get my hopes up.  I still had a lack of progesterone working against me.   But Dr. Lundell happily prescribed the progesterone again after making sure it was safe to take with the aspirin and instructing me to only take it during the first trimester. 

The rest is history.  I carried to term and had a healthy baby boy, as evidenced by my plastered Facebook profile.  It was certainly stressful, and frustrating, and filled with doubt.  But I'm so grateful for the experience.  I value my son more than I ever thought possible.  He is worth everything it took to get him here. 

So I hope this helps some of you.  I know that my story isn't the same for everyone else.  I hope that this will give you some options that may not have been considered before.  And I truly hope that you know that you're not alone.    That though the road seems long and dark, there are people to help you.  To guide you and even carry you.  And I know that it hurts to talk about sometimes.  But if ever you do need to talk, I'm happy to listen.